Many intriguing aspects are brought up when we attempt to understand Men and Women. Man is like a rubber band and women are like waves of the ocean. This analogy implies the nature of a person. This basically means when a man is angry he simply stretches his emotions and needs to be left alone for a while. After sometime when he has dealt with all his emotions he will bounce back. Whereas on the other hand when a woman is stressed out, she relieves her tension by speaking it out and then feels relaxed. Until the woman communicates her emotions , she will feel anxious and uncomfortable. On the other hand, when the man is angry/depressed and if he is tormented with questions he feels extremely uncomfortable.
For a man, he requires his space constantly. A man finds peace in solace. And a woman feels relaxed while expressing herself. One of the main reasons for misunderstandings to occur between a man/woman is lack of understanding of each others’ way of communicating. Basically, men when silent are resolving things within themselves and when women are silent there are 100’s of conflicts arising inside themselves.
A woman gets her problem resolved by speaking and sharing with others. She expects the same from men. Women insist and pester the men to share their thoughts and their turmoil that they are facing. They want the man to express all his feelings whereas the man loves to be alone to introspect and resolve his own issues. This is where women and men misunderstand each other. Women misunderstand the silence of men thinking that men do not trust them and are hiding something from them. Because a woman likes to share everything, so she feels confused and threatened when the man doesn’t verbalize and express his feelings. She perceives that he doesn’t trust her. Likewise the man also feels that the woman need not be so upset about her emotions and fights and could try to resolve issues more within herself rather than vocalize her feelings.
To make this situation harmonious, the man needs to simply listen patiently, calmly to the woman’s thoughts which are like waves and the woman needs to introspect within herself and then articulate her emotions part by part to the man. She needs to remember that a man’s emotions are like a rubber band and he needs some time to himself to assimilate his feelings.This emotional connection will bring them closer to each other and will dissolve the minor outbursts of emotional turmoil between them.
This analogy can be explained saying that one operates from the right brain and the other operates from the left brain. All we need to do is understand each other. It is said that swans fight with each other but, they make up for any fight immediately. They mate for life. When we fight, we should always remember that love is always around the corner, the only dilemma being to what intensity and to what extent the fight carries on.
What is companionship between a couple? What determines their compatibility? It is their level of understanding the other. If a couple spends atleast 20 minutes with each other on a daily basis, just to speak about their innermost feelings, their love will grow many folds. If they don’t express and share with each other their thoughts and emotions, it will build irritation, frustration and disturbances. It will only accumulate and may lead to emotional bursts later on. At such times one of the partners needs to be accommodating. One needs to be in the silent zone and absorb all the outbursts. We need to remember the analogy of the rubber band and the wave. And we need to remember that love is just around the corner!
I am blessed to have a deeply happy relationship with my wife Nina. Yes we do have our own quota of fights, very loud and shouting ones but they only last for a few seconds. One of us would always understand the other and be submissive and apologize immediately within a few minutes. And, of course, the apology to be received by the other would sometimes take a day or two. But once we apologize, our love bond becomes stronger. We are not just in a married relationship but we also enjoy a deep companionship as best friends. We have learned to see the divinity in each other. We feel we are made for each other and this can be the experience for every one in the world.
Love and anger are two sides to the same coin. Love and anger co-exist. Love grows with fights. Love grows with differences. But eventually disturbances, irritations, complaints dissolve and only love remains.
This rule applies to all relationships be it father, mother, friends, employee, boss and other relationships. One can experience calmness in all relationships when one goes through meditation, introspects and analysizes one’s own actions, words, thoughts, feelings and vibrations. Ideally we should spend 15-20 minutes discussing how our day was. This would enhance the relationship at each step of life. This can be done with all the relationships that you have.
This is the greatest gift that I have received from my master Guruji Shree Rishi Prabhakar Ji. Undergoing the SSY program really transformed my life. We also run many programs on Relationships such as ‘Magic of Marriage” and “Art of Harmonious relationships”. Come experience and make your life an everlasting bond of love with every one!