Marriages are always hard to work. In an age of 13 divorces per 1000 marriages in India(2015 survey), it’s more hard work than ever. But have you ever wondered why some marriages last while others don’t?
“Our elders viewed marriage as a life-long journey, but these days, people don’t have the ability to stay in something… Anything for long. Couples whose marriage have lasted many decades have not kept any conflict get bigger than the marriage. These days, even a small issue makes people quit marriage, or at least, start thinking about it,” says Dr. Avdesh Sharma, psychiatrist, who sees far more people seeking therapy for unhappy or failed marriages.
Research indicates that what was once a seven-year-itch, can now be a seven-month itch or even less. Divorces granted by family courts have increased by 350% between 2003 and 2011 in Kolkata and doubled in Mumbai between 2010 and 2014.
What does it really take for a marriage to last a lifetime?
Making marriage work is in one’s own hand. It requires patience, tolerance and a whole lot of understanding. Marriages aren’t just big talk. The younger generation gives up too soon on each other. If your journey is too smooth then it’s no fun. Marriage brings its own ups and downs. Enjoy it. You’ve got to be resilient. There is a lot of give and take. You have to nurture and work on it to make it last forever.
One of the factors that have lead to a quick decline in relationships is fairy tale expectations while leaving in reality; especially a reality that doesn’t have a solid support system or a joint family or elders being close to you for emotional support.
Another factor is the refusal to quit. Hurtful words spoken in anger can leave scars on the soul. If you are angry or upset, go for 5-km run! Put a duct-tape over your mouth and run. That will help rather than venting. Arguments are inevitable but keep them healthy and discuss only the issue. Never get personal and bring up each and every fault of your partner.
Empathy makes love last. If you want to remain married, learn how to swim through the dark, rough periods in tandem. The day you fall in love is very different from the day you get married.
Remember to ask yourself if you are ready for the ride. Cause you will enjoy the ride, with seatbelts on.
Share Your Views