I was a happy school going, girl. I remember how bright I used to be. Teachers never stopped calling me by my first name,
“Risha, you top the list of my favorites.”
Everything was cool but strange at the same time. I don’t know why but deep down, there was a sense of hollowness inside me, you can call it emptiness! I was too young to figure what was happening inside me. I could absorb energies in a room full of people and then come back home completely drained and tired. It was different and suddenly I turned a misfit to the world around me. And within a blink of an eye, I was a graduate, left school and friends far behind! My world became even more empty. I was dating a guy, though but somehow he couldn’t really understand, how can I even expect him to? Because I myself was unable to understand! What was this feeling inside me that was pulling me back every time I wanted to move on? And finally! I got the answer! That one single incident changed my whole life and the way I see myself since then was never the same again!
“Babe, I want to break the boundaries and take our relationship to the next level.”
My guy finally confronted that day. It was a sweet-smelling night without a hint of moonlight. He lit lamps and scents for me. Ah, what a feeling it was! Good vibes and romance. But suddenly I felt his hands down there! I screamed in pain and slapped him! the whole night I kept myself locked in a room trying to join the dots. I was in flashbacks. I don’t know when I fell asleep but the morning was not the same! I looked myself in the mirror and declared,
“Risha, you are an ASEXUAL girl!”
My guy overheard me and I was surprised to see him hold my hands,
“You are asexual not an aromantic,”
He said. That gave me a hope. He helped me bring out the necessary awareness regarding this and I sighed in relief.
It’s 2017 now, me and my guy are still together, making plenty of amazing memories, traveling the world. My dreams are coming true only with clarity and my decision to accept myself the way I am!